I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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