Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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