4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hotel room ftw
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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