You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have post one night stand depression
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
