walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
