her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
