You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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