I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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