Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
