I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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