yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is the high leading the old right now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
