i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
