"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
