i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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