i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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