Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
