Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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