whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize