I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Non-Jews are for practice
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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