I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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