I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
