She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
