I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
