this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
