I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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