dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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