She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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