P.S. I can't hear my feet
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
