so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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