He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
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I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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