I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
