Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
