Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
