the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
