I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
