how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
