And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize