I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
