Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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