dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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