Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
