Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
