We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I need moral support for this bender
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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