you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
two words...techno handjob
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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