Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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