All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
