You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
