and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I lost the right to judge tonight
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
