Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize