Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
