But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
