If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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