A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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