So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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