Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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