Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
