please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
