No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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