"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize