brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!