You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.