I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.