Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize