He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He? As in you personified your dick?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning