Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
