Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
