You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
