imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
